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Coming out story

Buddies. I'm not straight. My mom knows. She's okay with it. She loves me.

(UPDATE MY DAD DOESN'T AND WILL DISOWN ME IF HE FINDS OUT PLS DON'T ACCIDENTALLY OUT ME FRENS)

It was not always this way.

In a time of panic and haste, on May 8, 2017, I came out to my mother as pansexual. It did not go well. She was devastated and asked the universe "why me" and asked me to change. She asked me to break up with my girlfriend and for the sake of the family, become straight. She believed it was a choice I could make. She called it a phase. She called me abnormal and felt disgusted and horrified. She could "only understand that something had gone terribly wrong".  She cried through the night. I stopped digesting food. We stopped talking. I claimed to have broken up with my girlfriend to shut her up and get her off my case. I asked that I be left alone while I get over it. She thought I was trying to get over the break up. I was trying to get over being called…

Jalebi Slam

I bought jalebis from a mithai store today, a mithai store - not a roadside cart - because my mother feels it is safer this way.

For six months after we came to India my mother boiled Aquaguard water so it would be safe enough for us to drink. For all of my life in Aurangabad - more than 12 years if we're counting my college vacations - my mother made pani puri at home from scratch so we wouldn't contract water-borne diseases.

For all our years in India since my parents returned from dad's chemo my mother would wake us 25 minutes too early, even when sleep was more precious to her than it was to us, even though the school bus for 8:45 AM class came to our stop at 7:20 - which is no time to even be awake if you ask my sister - to feed us "real" breakfast in addition to an unnecessarily tall glass of milk before school,
everyday, so she could give us enough fuel to last until recess and sustain our growing bodies through puberty.

My mother made cream spinach and b…

The Green Agenda

Growing up, my personal experience with environment conservation efforts, coupled with acute egocentrism, led me to believe that everyone else had had my eco-conscious upbringing, that everyone had a biogas unit, a compost pit, saplings and a home garden, solar heating, rainwater harvesting, a waste segregation system, a laundry timetable and a reduce-reuse-recycle habit in their homes. Imagine my culture shock when I moved to C.L. Layout in Bangalore for my B.A. degree. Solar heating is a rarity, waste restriction and segregation were unheard of, and eating out daily is the norm. It is not as much a matter of negligence as it is of convenience. I took no time to develop these errant habits, and it showed – my room began to exist as a mess, my skin broke out in pimples that I thought I was rid of, and my already delicate constitution was further endangered by takeaway McDonald’s and parcelled paneer rolls. I saved time. I saved money. I was always instantly gratified. I spent my days …

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They say you need to love yourself before you can love another
My Warrior Princess of Badassery Two similar pieces of a jigsaw puzzle never fit just right with each other And if you and I are similarly odd similarly flat similarly skinny little pieces of a puzzle in hobo pants, war paint and Samurai hair At least I know that we are two ill-fated, slightly banged up irregular pieces of the same puzzle. And I love you regardless - I am almost glad I can't not.
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"It is hard to stop loving the ocean"

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I've washed you out of the clothes I took back from your apartment But the smell still lingers In the air You still linger In the breeze in my hair In that canvas still bare In the colors I do not wear Anymore.
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Your love is a sweet vortex and I'm free falling out of reality
I speak my honest lies
As long as we can keep up the pretense your glitter laugh is my momentary truth sweet pirate-breath pixie
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I was not made for winter - 
I was not made for your song and dance
For love, and sparkly lights,
And…

#ArtStudent

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Heyy everybody!

Yesterday a government official put me in a box (which I didn't even notice until my brother pointed out the giant ribbon on my head) and I'm still somewhat disturbed, so let me address this unruly tenant of the bed and breakfast that is my brain and get closure so I can focus on more important things to stress about, like not going to prison this academic year. #optimismingthru

Let us begin. We had some work in the passport department so my brother can enter and inhabit his CalTech mothership without any trouble, and the cop lady asked us some smart alecky questions about our citizenship and residence, and then the procedural questions about our age and where we're educating ourselves and my sister is a 23-year-old engineer and my brother is an 18-year-old future scientist and she asks me what I do and my mother, my brother and I answer at the same time saying "Bangalore madhye BA kartiye" (doing BA in Bangalore) and "English Literature&quo…

Breakfast for champions: coconut mocha smoothie

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Ingredients:
1. Chilled Dabur Hommade Coconut Milk (200ml carton)
2. 3 teaspoons of Hershey's Chocolate Syrup
3. 1 teaspoon Magic Powder™ (instant coffee, cinnamon and nutmeg)
Mix well: Look at that consistency!
Drizzle chocolate syrup for effect:
And enjoy!
P.S. It's really very thick - one 200ml smoothie will legitimately suffice as breakfast. I couldn't finish even half - it's in the fridge now. But it's beautiful so I've kept it for when I run out of will to live as I try to keep up with Literary Theory

Objectification of Women in Indian Cinema

The irony in an independent, educated young woman asserting her freedom and right to wear what she pleases and sing along and dance to whichever item song she wants, cannot be missed. In this post, I will outline the objectification of women in Bollywood dance numbers as analyzed and discussed by Ms. Deebanjana Pal, at the "Gender in Cinema: Gendering Film Screens" workshop I attended this semester.

Ms. Pal presented her talk with the help of 4 clips from Indian movies from different time periods. Using these, she criticized notions about women even as they evolved. She also explored the sexuality of leading ladies in these films, in terms of overtly sexy behavior.

The first clip she showed us was Dimple Kapadia's infamous sarong scene in Bobby. Ms Kapadia's striptease there was a demonstration of the constant scrutiny femalekind are subject to: The heroine in that clip is shown to be unaware of being watched. She has no idea abut the creepy man in the background ma…