Why NOT to date that ENFP

(based on the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator that classifies personalities based on the traits Extraversion versus Introversion, iNtuition versus Sensing, Feeling versus Thinking, and Judgement versus Perception)

To begin with, you will never actually, formally "date" one. They do not tolerate the formality and lack of authenticity of the whole dating thing. What will happen is, one day you'll meet them and you will be like ah what a cute, simple golden retriever and then you'll see them at a poetry club or protest and then you'll start hanging out and soon enough you spend every waking minute with this little shit and before you know it he/she has kissed you and you are no longer in control of your life. That's as simple as it is. An ENFP will charm your pants off and crack through the stone walls of your heart without either of you even realizing it. ENFPs are lovely. They work very, very hard to be.

Here are a few very valid reasons not to date the ENFP that you know you're thinking of dating. Also, a few alternative to dating them - adopting them, for instance; also, bro-zoning them (works it it's a guy or a girl).

#1 Your ENFP will SMOTHER you. Emotionally and physically. He/she will monopolize your time.

#2 ENFPs don't take criticism very well. Or negativity in general. They avoid conflict like the plague. So if you hurt or even slightly irritate him/her you will not find out until two weeks later when he/she has had it and is leaving.

#3 ENFPs high-maintenance (they will never demand it or even realize it but they really can't take care of themselves).

#4 You will, therefore, be the adult in the relationship. If you're cool with that, this is a moot point.

#5 ENFPs are classic MPDGs (Manic Pixie Dream Girls) - they will be what you need them to be, so versatile and malleable is their character. This is bad for two reasons - first that this will prevent your own growth and development because you no longer need to work on your flaws. And second, as in Gone Girl, when they finally get tired of being your personal unicorn, you see what they really are like and that perhaps you are no longer what's best for each other.

#6 ENFPs find it very, very difficult to leave a relationship, no matter how bad or impossible it gets because they think it is their obligation to make it work. This is your problem because he/she will stick around long after it's gone downhill, creating false hope, and when that runs out, resentment.

#7 ENFPs are difficult to keep up with. Their brains run way too fast and they jump from topic to topic through dimensions and they over think everything and they do so much that at the end of the day they're just tired and sleepy and incapable of dealing with people. Including you. Unless you are quiet and pretending to be a soft toy.

#8 ENFPs have a lot of friends, that they love fiercely and are very attached to. Unless you have a common friend circle, very often, your plans will collide with those he/she has made with his/her friends and he/she will have to choose. More cause for resentment. Worse yet, it will feel binding - ENFPs are free spirits and will rip apart anything that threatens that freedom.

#9 ENFPs have somewhat unpredictable bouts of need for alone time and personal space - like a dormant claustrophobia. It is likely he/she will withdraw or lock himself/herself up somewhere and spend a few hours just sitting around thinking. Think of it as trying to keep up with their minds. Their minds, as mentioned, run too fast and sometimes your ENFP will get overwhelmed and need like a whole week to sort out the thoughts that normally flit through their minds in one day.

#10 ENFPs live in the future. The less cautious ones will plan your wedding, honeymoon, children's names and family vacations and even manage to get you excited about these plans. <little unrealistic and it'll hurt when it's over>

Maybe not NOT date them; just proceed with caution. Not all ENFPs are mature and alluringly darkside.


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