The Mystical Unicorn

Heyy everybody! Yesterday a government official put me in a box (which I didn't even notice until my brother pointed out the giant ribbon on my head) and I'm still somewhat disturbed, so let me address this unruly tenant of the bed and breakfast that is my brain and get closure so I can focus on more important things to stress about, like not going to prison this academic year. #optimismingthru Let us begin. We had some work in the passport department so my brother can enter and inhabit his CalTech mothership without any trouble, and the cop lady asked us some smart alecky questions about our citizenship and residence, and then the procedural questions about our age and where we're educating ourselves and my sister is a 23-year-old engineer and my brother is an 18-year-old future scientist and she asks me what I do and my mother, my brother and I answer at the same time saying "Bangalore madhye BA kartiye" ( doing BA in Bangalore ) and "English Literatur...

Everyone has an ulterior motive for everything. But that's alright. "Ulterior motives" is a colorless term. What matters is what exactly the ulterior motive in question is.

The thing is, I want my people in my life, all my life. I like them a lot, and I want us to still have intellectual conversations when we're really, really old. I want us to read good books that we've suggested to each other. I want us to meet every weekend for tea or coffee or even a walk in the park - who cares - even when we're fifty. I want us to be deep-thoughts-friends even when they've got jobs and I'm living off the money I make from my paintings. I want all that with what we've got now, but the question is, is what we've got now enough ?

Then take a break and go back to the craziness. For instance, sign up for gym, join a band, take up unnecessary extracurricular activities, volunteer, dance, write; run around losing your mind and summer weight. And then take a one-month break from gym and extracurricular rubbish. Breathe. Study. Upload notes  and all. Seriously though - STUDY!! Ok bye now

My friend Nayana Rajnish, who is a brilliant wacko genius zoned out INFP (xNFP siblingness shining through), answered my query about homosexuality perfectly, and although it is not MY brainvomit, I feel like the world would benefit from this information so I'm going to blog about it now. A little context here: The only argument against homosexuality that I couldn't argue against effectively was that by vice of the attraction one may feel towards a person of the same sex being (biologically) not normal, homosexuality is sexual perversion. Nayana's answer to this absolute distinction was that it would be unfair - given our stage in evolution, our intellectual superiority over other species and our population - to compare our sexuality, which in today's world is highly psychological, to theirs. The great purpose of human heterosexuality is procreation. It is safe to say humans no longer need to procreate to further our species because there are PLENTY of us. Therefo...

Love for another, for oneself, romantic, platonic, familial, maternal, paternal, tough love, unrequited love, love for a subject, your work, an object, a pet, a hobby - but love in the end.

To fear or admire those who sleep easily? Admire them, because we cannot Or fear them, for they have no guilt?

The do's and don't's of surviving homesickness: first of all and most importantly, do not allow yourself self-pity do keep your mind occupied at all times. In the shower, when you get time to "reflect," count the seconds or sing very, very loudly. Just before going to sleep, cuddle a soft toy and list all the things you're going to do the next day. During meals, just as your eyes lose focus and your mind sinks into deep thought, snap out of it! Count the number of grains of rice if you must. Watch anime, T.V. or even read a textbook. do not allow yourself the time to think stay busy, if you can't man up and suck it in - go shopping, visit friends, solve puzzles watch pointless sitcoms, visit family, sleep through it, obsessively unpack, arrange, rearrange and clean your room... do keep hydrated and well-fed do not eat your emotions do draw, paint, craft, sculpt, play an instrument, go to the gym, lose yourself in instagram, Facebook, Vine, Wattpad...

My Moving-Out-and-Into-Hostel list of bare and not-so-bare necessities for college and hostel. In order of proximity: 1.       Laptop, mouse, pen drive, dongle, bag 2.      At least  2 bed sheet + pillowcase + blanket sets 3.       Multiple rough books 4.       Purse with zipper 5.       Cell phone and paraphernalia 6.      Soft toys 7.       Multiple water bottles (I quote my mother, “Just take it! Don't ask me why. I'll tell you why: because I say so.” 8.       Mug + bowl + small plate + big plate set 9.       Body soap 10.    Tooth paste 11.    Dental floss 12.    Tooth brush 13.    Hold-all or (queen of jugaad) vertical box 14.    DIY  tiara 15.    Key chains 16.    Face wash 17.    Stapler + pins 18.    Punching machine 19. ...

This summer has been riddled with visits from cousins, visits to cousins, visits with cousins to other cousins.. and I actually enjoyed it! For the past twelve years I have been under the impression that all my cousins are total dweebs, save for one, who I thought a dweeb as well, but not to the extent of the rest. It is somewhat true, but when and how did I ever get the idea that I  am not one, as well? In retrospect, it seems I have actually been a jerk! I have been surprised multiple times in the past two months, by the coolness of the people around me, and my lack thereof, in dealing with them. For instance, someone I thought was a frenemy is in fact a wonderful, gracious person, and a sincere friend. My cousin who made an ass of himself years back, is a skilled artist, and fun person. Another cousin broke out of his shell, subsequently breaking mine, and we bonded over a family dinner. My little cousin sister reminded me of the importance of guardian angels in our lives,...

Chemistry is jinxed, said i To indifferent heavens above And exited the exam hall Ready to die, but not cry Wasted tears over my fall From grace.  A subject i used to love, But now hate Haunts my dreams Each sleepless night. I'm unraveling at the seams Incapable of a fight "Chemistry is jinxed," said I; Well, shame on me For was it not I That failed to see The consequences of neglect And lethargy?

The knowledge that I am an innocent, unassuming and naive young girl in a country that doesn't give a shit whether or not i bleed to death chills me to the bones. I am not safe; i am terribly outnumbered and vulnerable, just as all the girls i know, are. No cellphone, pocketknife, pepperspray or even a healthy pair of lungs could aid me. In such a situation, should I fight or run? Should I live an anxious, paranoid terrified life in this moral graveyard of a country or should i flee - to America, the land of the free and the home of the brave - my country...

Like a crazed slinky, Time is pitching forward and surging back. Just eight days now, for my last paper, but eight long, long days until my birthday. Based on the perspective you adopt, Time is either flying away, faster than the speed of thought, or crawling along, inching slowly, so slowly, at the pace of the dust that gathers in an old, abandoned house. Father Time has either lost his mind, or is doing drugs. Every morning, though, the calendar tells me that the Earth is rotating just as it is supposed to, that the Universe is alright, and that today is a brand new day to be productive. However, that is not reassuring, because it means it must be me - I  must have lost my mind, and during my Boards  at that.

I know I'm totally rambling right now, but "Hey guys" is like my catchphrase. It's the first think i say in every one of my videos, the first thing i type in my conversational posts, and i am starting to get sick of it, just a tiny bit. In other news, I have had a generally productive week-after-exams: March 21   my birthday. FUN! March 22   road trip. Bought 22 books!!! March 23   mom's birthday. Ate out, watched a movie.. also fun! March 24   Finished Anna Karenina, Let It Snow, started this blog March 25   Started Youtube channel (Project CCTV), found hidden books, started writing! So far, I am sort of happy with my progress.. That's it until tonight. Cheers!