My search for God was a conscious, difficult, frustrating process. I have been an atheist for as long as I can remember, but one day, my mind thrust the definition of God into my hands, and I was elated. After the euphoria faded, the question, "Now what?" emerged. So I decided I would explain the concept of God. Imagine some well-meaning fool sat to write about GOOD, but got the spelling wrong and wrote "God". Connect the dots - God is definitely good; just literally. Think about it - what if God was actually the quality of goodness? So I have come to the conclusion that "God" represents honesty, integrity, optimism, bravery, productivity, independence et. al. - most of the virtues we have been taught since infancy to look up to and emulate. Doesn't it make sense? God, then, is truly in your heart. Forget everything you know about religion - start blank. God is no person; personifying good will get us nowhere. We do not need a person to a...
⚪ April 2018 It's been a tough few days, weeks, months, year(s?) since I found you and started losing you before I even had you I've gotten sicker and heavier and heavier and heavier and most days I can't tell sadness and gravity apart I've let bottles of cheap alcohol and boxes of menthol cigarettes come and go before I could let you go let us go Let me go you bitch ⚪ February 2018 Do I miss you or the feelings? Fuzzy ones, warm ones, like my grey socks but not grey - actually, give me the grey I'd rather not feel anything at all than the deep and unrelenting sadness of being alive Figures, grey is your favorite color. ⚪ March 2018 Why do I keep coming back to you like a stuck anchor? You're still my only point of reference I know nothing else and I can't progress, like driving 8030 km with the handbrake on- I made it, but does anything work anymore? ⚪ January 2018 I'm still here in these grey sheets I bough...
your love is a sweet vortex and I'm free falling out of reality I speak my honest lies As long as we can keep up the pretence your glitter laugh is my momentary truth sweet pirate-breath pixie You know how Disney songs have that mental scale change, and chimes and birdsong and falling petals in the background? Mae sounds like that. Like sparkly things. Like dust glinting in sunlight. Looks like it, too - she's got this lotion with glitter in it, and it makes her smell like a bakery - so when she's talking to you or listening to your mundane, unimportant, decidedly drab stories with absolute, undivided attention, leaning in, eyes wide, she looks edible . Like the perfect pastel cupcake of Disneyland dreams: beautifully put together, wrapped in fancy handcrafted paper, tied together with some nonsensically cute bow tiny hand-cut sugar stars and hearts sprinkled artfully over flawless frostin...
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