Showing posts from 2014

You realize you've moved to colder lands when...

1. You understand night-time slippers. Also socks, coats, shawls, hats, sweater-vests, scarves and rugs. Rugs!!
2. You recoil at the touch of metal, ceramic, stone, tile, plastic - even cloth.
3. You skip bathing in the morning. And at night. Perfect time to bathe: long hot shower after school college.
4. You blog to kill time as the water heater works its magic. No liquid comes in contact with this body unless it's at least 40 degrees Centigrade.
5. You wake up sore because your human blanket burrito situation all night wouldn't let you move.
6. You wear tights under tracks. Actually - tights under pants, tights under skirts, tights under pajamas, tights under shorts, tights under tights.
7. You don't get into the shower even though the heater's been on for at least 10 minutes now, because you're too damn comfortable on your bed with your laptop, pillow and stuffed toys, and blankets successfully wrapped around you, over your head. And now that your leg is asleep…


The do's and don't's of surviving homesickness:
first of all and most importantly, do not allow yourself self-pitydo keep your mind occupied at all times. In the shower, when you get time to "reflect," count the seconds or sing very, very loudly. Just before going to sleep, cuddle a soft toy and list all the things you're going to do the next day. During meals, just as your eyes lose focus and your mind sinks into deep thought, snap out of it! Count the number of grains of rice if you must. Watch anime, T.V. or even read a not allow yourself the time to thinkstay busy, if you can't man up and suck it in - go shopping, visit friends, solve puzzles watch pointless sitcoms, visit family, sleep through it, obsessively unpack, arrange, rearrange and clean your keep hydrated and well-feddo not eat your emotionsdo draw, paint, craft, sculpt, play an instrument, go to the gym, lose yourself in instagram, Facebook, Vine, Wattpad (yes, even th…

To a Professor

(The cutest doll you'll ever meet, a genius who takes the class by storm - riding in like the East Wind, with her bright saris and colorful jewelry)
Who these crude urchins That with their low murmurs Untimely sniggers and straying eyes Disturb thee so, my lady?
Shall I seal their mouths That ope and shut – ope and shut Like vile pistons of an ever-running engine Consuming patience and going in cycles, rattling and sputtering and splashing and stumbling and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and – oh! But softly, in undertones That annoy you so
Shall I employ emotional blackmail And threaten them into silence For fear of causing thee pain And if not that, then of offending my lady
Or shall I use brute force Thusly: along with your sweet pet, I shall gag them and hit them and step on their shoes And lead them out of this Class By their ears
Say the word, my lady
Anything for you.

On the topic of kisses


Kisses are poems
Some - epic narratives; tales of conquest
Some - sorrowful ballads
Some - short, sweet, affectionate sonnets
Others - haikus for the heart
Yours, though -
Yours are heroic couplets
And phrases and mere addresses and looks
That steal my breath.

June 27, 2014

City sounds in the background
Dhivya singing
My feet shuffling
Fingers tapping at the keyboard
Crows' wings beating
Running water
Downstairs - chatter

Noise - or is it music?

For it sounds to me
Like independence. Activity. Productivity
Like the sounds
Once muffled, now distinct
That a newborn
Just out of the womb
Might hear

Hey guys!!!

As requested (multiple times) here is my Moving-Out-and-Into-Hostel list of bare and not-so-bare necessities for college and hostel.
In order of proximity:
1.Laptop, mouse, pen drive, dongle, bag
2.     At least 2 bed sheet + pillowcase + blanket sets
3.Multiple rough books
4.Purse with zipper
5.Cell phone and paraphernalia
6.     Soft toys
7.Multiple water bottles (I quote my mother, “Just take it! Don't ask me why. I'll tell you why: because I say so.”
8.Mug + bowl + small plate + big plate set
9.Body soap
10.Tooth paste
11.Dental floss
12.Tooth brush
13.Hold-all or (queen of jugaad) vertical box
14.   DIY tiara
15.Key chains
16.Face wash
17.Stapler + pins
18.Punching machine
19.Geometry box
20.Box of pencils
21.   Ink pens
22.Ink bottle
24.Box of erasers, sharpeners
25.A pair of scissors
27.Index cards
28.Chewing gum
30.Paint tubes
31.Paint brushes
34.Cello tape
36.Match box
37.Needle and thread (black)
38.Needle and thread (white)


This summer has been riddled with visits from cousins, visits to cousins, visits with cousins to other cousins.. and I actually enjoyed it!

For the past twelve years I have been under the impression that all my cousins are total dweebs, save for one, who I thought a dweeb as well, but not to the extent of the rest. It is somewhat true, but when and how did I ever get the idea that I am not one, as well? In retrospect, it seems I have actually been a jerk!

I have been surprised multiple times in the past two months, by the coolness of the people around me, and my lack thereof, in dealing with them. For instance, someone I thought was a frenemy is in fact a wonderful, gracious person, and a sincere friend. My cousin who made an ass of himself years back, is a skilled artist, and fun person. Another cousin broke out of his shell, subsequently breaking mine, and we bonded over a family dinner. My little cousin sister reminded me of the importance of guardian angels in our lives, a sorry …

April 26, 2014

A quick disclaimer before I begin: I HAVE NOT BEEN PAID TO DO THIS


In my family, a sizeable chunk of conversation revolves around the book(s) each one of us is reading. For instance, my father hooked us onto The Checklist Manifesto by Atul Gawande a few months back. ( It's amazing! For instance, Dr. Gawande draws similarities between ER surgeons and rock stars based on their all-important time-saving resource-saving practical and all-encompassing checklists. It grips you from the first page. Dr. Gawande narrates a real-life ER incidence when a Halloween party gone woefully wrong reulted in a youth being stabbed in the stomach. the doctors fixed him up, or so they thought, until complicatins arose. so they wondered what went wrong, when they realized nobody asked the patient what he got stabbed with. A simple human error - easily prevented by the use of a checklist.

Hence my List. (…

All that is good about summer

1. Sundresses
2. Big floppy hats
3. Clear skin
4. Reduced appetite
5. So much free time
6. POPSICLES!!!!!!
7. Beach vacations
8. Family time (like it or not, you can't escape them ;) )
9. Frozen yogurt
10. T.V.

After chem prelim 2

Chemistry is jinxed, said i To indifferent heavens above And exited the exam hall Ready to die, but not cry Wasted tears over my fall From grace.  A subject i used to love, But now hate Haunts my dreams Each sleepless night. I'm unraveling at the seams Incapable of a fight
"Chemistry is jinxed," said I; Well, shame on me For was it not I That failed to see The consequences of neglect And lethargy?

Rant after Kolkata rape incident

The knowledge that I am an innocent, unassuming and naive young girl in a country that doesn't give a shit whether or not i bleed to death chills me to the bones. I am not safe; i am terribly outnumbered and vulnerable, just as all the girls i know, are. No cellphone, pocketknife, pepperspray or even a healthy pair of lungs could aid me. In such a situation, should I fight or run? Should I live an anxious, paranoid terrified life in this moral graveyard of a country or should i flee - to America, the land of the free and the home of the brave - my country...

March 13, 2014

Like a crazed slinky, Time is pitching forward and surging back. Just eight days now, for my last paper, but eight long, long days until my birthday. Based on the perspective you adopt, Time is either flying away, faster than the speed of thought, or crawling along, inching slowly, so slowly, at the pace of the dust that gathers in an old, abandoned house.

Father Time has either lost his mind, or is doing drugs.

Every morning, though, the calendar tells me that the Earth is rotating just as it is supposed to, that the Universe is alright, and that today is a brand new day to be productive.

However, that is not reassuring, because it means it must be me - I must have lost my mind, and during my Boards at that.

Hail to the Dying Tiger

A magnificent striped predator Walks silently, head held high Its quick tail twitches. Surrender Dear deer, it is your time to die
Hail to the Lord of the Sunderbans Hail to the Pride of India Hail to the endangered one King of Bengal Executioner of all
Hail to the proud tiger Hail to the mighty tiger
Hail. All hail to the dying tiger


Nature is not a work of art Nature is art itself
The beautiful golden sunset The vast blue sky The coal black fur on my pet The wings of a butterfly
Cloudy skies at dusk Silver rippling water The sheen of an ivory tusk The beauty of a child’s laughter
A clear, starry night The bright white moon A hummingbird in flight A rose in full bloom
Beauty doesn’t reach you because Ignorance acts like a boulder All of the world’s beauty
Is in the eyes of the beholder

Sometime in July, 2013

I miss when our teachers held our hands and led the way When they showed us what to do and had good things to say Instead of the disappointment now that they can’t even express And their pain and anger and apathy and distress Thanks to our thick skins and thick skulls and indolence Is it too late? Have we crossed a line? Is there a way to fix it, to somehow make it fine? It IS only just July, we still have time We can still get our act together and make them proud When the results are out, we can all shout out loud WE DID IT WE FREAKIN’ DID IT!!


Not many people know about this, because, well, I've been embarrassed to admit the ambition of some of the things on this List. Yes, List. not list, because it's important to me. But I was told, "Shame is a wasted emotion," so here goes. My List, for the whole world to see and judge me by:

1. Make moleskine notebooks
2. Farewell gifts for friends
3. The Project Airship: sky-high study centre cum readery
4. Flash mob at Prozone in shorts invalid
5. Sleepovers
6. Blog
7. Youtube channel (URL:
8. Help people of Padali
9. Get back in shape - strong is the new skinny
10. Comic bottles, bookmarks
11. Design graphic tees
12. Sell fashion collection
13. Make Aurangabad skirt-safe
14. "Gift your baby girl a toy car" campaign
15. Break gender stereotypes: ride a motorcycle, wear guy clothes, no more tight pants!!
16. "Have a baby, plant a tree" campaign
17. Picnic in a tree
18. End the Barbie, celebrity, Disney obsession


The Board exams in India are a rite of passage. They are long-drawn pseudo-ceremonial processes of initiation; as much a personal or even family affair as a community affair. The board exams are the “Ah…” moments at get-togethers; mention of a family member or friend’s imminent Boards are effective ice-breakers. First, there is a thorough discussion of the pattern, portion and latest news about the government’s latest rules and regulations about it. Thence follows the barrage of unsolicited advice, the war stories, the glorious successes... The shameful failures remain unspoken, and to fill the awkward silence that ensues, the topic of stress, pressure, trauma etc are touched upon.

But that is not all. At re-reunions, there is yet more left to be discussed about the Boards. The student in the host family is subject to intense humiliation at the hands of his/her own parents (Et tu, Brute?) and stands there, hands in ever-shrinking pant-pockets, head hung low with shame and unspoken ange…

"Hey guys"

I know I'm totally rambling right now, but "Hey guys" is like my catchphrase. It's the first think i say in every one of my videos, the first thing i type in my conversational posts, and i am starting to get sick of it, just a tiny bit.

In other news, I have had a generally productive week-after-exams:
March 21   my birthday. FUN!
March 22   road trip. Bought 22 books!!!
March 23   mom's birthday. Ate out, watched a movie.. also fun!
March 24   Finished Anna Karenina, Let It Snow, started this blog
March 25   Started Youtube channel (Project CCTV), found hidden books, started writing!

So far, I am sort of happy with my progress..

That's it until tonight.


Am I Blue?

It is winter in this city and winter in my heart As gusty winds of despair wail through its cracks I try, with frigid futility, to stoke the fires Of rage and passion, but my heart is frozen over No happy ember of enthusiasm Nor warm embrace of empathy Could melt the glaciers of gloom trickling slowly through my veins Chilling my bones and I drag my feet One step ahead of the last Failing miserably to get anywhere But they say the least I can do is try Try to move, try to see Beyond this fog of lethargy Before it swallows me whole And while my extremities thaw I will have melted into the mediocrity And insignificance of oblivion Rescue me o happy innocence of childhood Turn to molten chocolate the blades of ice that threaten to pierce my heart Keep me young and strong And foolish and productive Keep me going Help me fight my battle against my own inactivity Before it is too late
And my life ends before it had even begun

Castles in air

Castles in air are made of glass Mine are plummeting to the earth Minutes away from A tragic but beautiful explosion Of light and shards of broken dreams Burning holes in the eyes Of those who chose to watch Ripping to shreds the hearts Of those who could not Punishing them for their misplaced faith In time and effort And me
It is too late now I cannot prevent the descent of my dreams Nor alleviate the pain of those who care If my own heart aches far worse than I can bear
The walls of ice in my heart are cracking Under pressure from a river of tears Crushed under the weight of sorrow And miserable, stupid regret
No; I cannot stop my castles Constructed by hours of careful calculation From falling, but perhaps I could cushion the impact With sincerity of effort so that When my life finally comes to shambles
There will be no pain – mine, or That of those so foolishly benevolent That they tried to help me

SONNET on a winter day

The weather is so gay This wonderful sunny day Its warmth and gentle breeze Rustling the leaves Of old, tired, dusty trees Hope and happiness Replacing the woes of winter From their dry, tired barks And our sad, weary hearts Isn't it lovely? To have no worry To sit outside and enjoy Listening to the stories Of the Traveler’s joy

If, in the midst of battle, you get tired, you die.

This is no time to rest To cool off you heels at dusk Or play cards with friends
No, this is no time to be at ease
This is that time when You must fight with your last breath Against yourself and your friends And against fatigue and lethargy
This is that time when You must refuse compassion Or empathy Or offers to get out
Because one hundred million others Are working all day Into the night Until daybreak Tirelessly
Because one hundred million others Can not Will not
Take it easy

Jan 17, 2014

Rome burns to the ground While we rest our able minds And agile bodies “Waiting” “Preparing,” we say For the next battle More dangerous than this one And inevitable if we go on this way Do you hear yourselves, men?
Rise, my comrades And fight, today So we may rest forever more Fight today, one last time
To avert a terrible war

Jan 15, 2014

If I have halted – Pressed down on my brakes It is because I am gathering momentum Revving my engines before I run my race Full speed Flying an inch off the ground Irreproachable Unstoppable Victorious
Just you wait and watch

Silence and Hypocrisy

Death rains down upon Nature
Leaves fall out of the sky
Falling in clusters
Falling as branches
Falling as trees - once so high
Felled by man
Stupid, short-sighted disgrace
Blind to the consequences of his actions
Running an impossible race

The birds are gone, the bees are gone
The squirrels have fled
Death drove them away as it descended
Their home - their tree - is dead

But what argument have I?
It is the glory of money
And all it can buy
Versus an inconvenient tree

A man has crippled my muse
And I can say nor do a thing
For it wasn't mine to defend
Nor his to endure
And if I kept quiet about death
I should keep quiet about this

Now he has a little more space to breathe
And I must think of a crippled tree
Its beauty destroyed, my art tainted
With the burden of silence and hypocrisy

Leaving the Nest

November approaches, too close for comfort And as I see autumn leaves falling off Leaving their trees bare, settling into the dirt A breeze blows by, shaking more off And bees and birds, startled, fly off, unhurt
And I wonder, is this what they feel Our parents and teachers,  When they watch us growing up,  Helpless onlookers in our struggles Trying to catch up Because we've grown up too fast And are getting ready to leave the nest at last?

If only I could jump over the roofs And ask that old tree to pause for a while Don't let them go so soon, I'd say Let your branches stay green for just another day
Why do I feel this impending doom? Why is May rushing at me so soon? Let me stay for a little while more Let me study just a little bit more
Let me get this right Let me put up a good fight Against myself and the past And do my best
Before I leave the nest